My Journal Entry, Friday, December 5th

As I chroncile this journey in rewind, I will use the little bit of journaling I did and then pick up with my memory from there. I debated whether to use all of what I wrote in my journal some of it is deeply personal. However, I am deeply personal by nature and have decided to open up to whomever wants to read it, sharing my deepest heart through this experience. I think only then, will God be able to bring some clarity and healing to my soul. So, with the good, the bad, and the ugly, I journal openly, inviting you in as a spectator into the recesses of my heart.



Friday, December 5th...

A vibrant sunset welcomed us into Denver this evening as we drove into the city. Deep orange hues reflected the sun underneath the low lying clouds. Streaks of red and ocean blue danced through the orange as if God ran His fingertips through a chalk drawing. The majesty of the mountains accenting our view seemed starkly beautiful to three Kansans accustomed to vast plains.



It's hard to grasp the reality of this moment. As many times as I try to live the moment, the truth of it eludes me. It is surreal. I've learned so many lessons through this journey about the character of God. As I sit in our hotel on the eve of flying to Ethiopia, knowing my life is about to change permanently with the addition of two children into our lives, I am thrilled at the depth of God's character I have discovered. He is not so far off from me as I once thought. My failures and weaknesses don't scare God off. He is so much nearer than I ever realized. The God I knew and adored as a three year old, long before I littered my journey with failures and shortcomings, detours and sin, is the same God in my life today. The voice who whispered, "Africa, Africa" into my tender heart as a preschooler now speak as closely, "Africa, Africa" as we are about to adopt two children from beautiful Ethiopia. The words He speaks, the visions He plants in our spirits, like a seed, like conception...He always, always brings to birthing! His Word never returns void! It always accomplishes what He wills it to. God opened my heart and I fell in love with the children of Africa as a tiny child myself. I thought I would be a missionary and I always knew I would adopt from Africa. Now, God unveils His breath-taking plan as we are not necessarily going to Africa, but God is bringing Africa to us.



Joshua Israel, my precious son....I have dreamed of you and prayed for you since I was your age. I have loved you for sixteen months, gazing into the pictures we've received and longing to see that precious, shining face in person. Now all that waiting and praying has come to an end in a cloud of blurred memories and we are here, about to see you, hold you, tell you that your family loves you. Caleb is so excited to have you as his brother! He has waited for you, his partner and best friend just like Caleb and Joshua of the Bible. The two of you will together change your world! We love you! Your Mommy can't wait to see you and take you home.



Julianna, what a gift you are to us...an unexpected surprise from Jesus! You are the most beautiful princess I have ever seen and you will, no doubt, light up our world! I have prayed for you since I was a little girl and when God gave me the dream with you in it, I fell in love with you. I knew you were somewhere in Ethiopia needing us and began to pray for you. Six months later, we saw your picture and were overwhelmed by God's love for us and for you. I cannot wait to put your little face into my hands and tell you, "Mommy loves you". You are like a kiss from heaven. Our lives will be so much fun with you in it!!



We leave on the shuttle at 8:45am to get to the airport by 9:00. Our flight leaves Denver at 11:30 to Washington DC. We are praying for favor with our luggage, hoping they meet the new weight rules.



This morning's goodbyes to Brooklyn and Caleb were so difficult. Both kids have been teary and emotional all week. They are so excited for Joshua and Julianna, but heavy-hearted with our departure. We got them ready for school, then joined hands in the kitchen, praying as a family. We all cried, but Brooklyn and Caleb sobbed. My mommy's heart broke. This isn't a quick ministry trip to Wichita. We are going to a different continent, halfway around the globe. It will, no doubt, grow our family in many ways. We left a package for Brooklyn and Caleb for each day we are gone and sent them balloons and candy to school today. Bethany is very anxious to hold the children and play with the older kids at the Care Center. She is nervous for the flight, but will do fine. Time for bed...tomorrow begins the adventure...